Gutted

I just went for my first ultrasound/ bw appt and am supposed to start the stims tonight. As you know, I've been on pins and needles since the spotting, petrified this cycle would be cancelled. Some call it paranoia. I call it premonition.

I, of course, have a new cyst. If it is producing estrogen, the cycle must be postponed. The nurse puts the odds at 50:50 (not knowing about my 5 hour late pill, she said it would only be if I "somehow broke through the pill or lupron"). Knowing what I do, I put the odds at much greater than that.

I know it will only be a month or so, but I will am so upset. I am tired of waiting to try. The last "real" shot I had was in june, and that was with 12 eggs, the largest of which was 14mm. Before that, it was April.

But there is nothing I can do now but wait. If no call, we proceed as planned. Please please pray my phone is silent today.