Friday, September 7, 2012

Melodramatic Me

At 1:40, I had a missed call from a restricted number on my cell phone. Since I was teaching, I could not check it, but inwardly, I died a little. The nurse had said, more than once, they would only call if it was bad news. If it was good news, I would not hear and could just proceed as planned. I spent the next two hours trying not to cry, and planning out exactly what I would buy at the liquor store to get me through tonight and my sister's baby shower tomorrow (I was pretty sure the champagne I bought for the mimosas would be the first casualty).

I don't know how I made it until 3:30, but as soon as the last kid was out the door, my cell phone was to my ear. And I got the biggest surprise of my life. The cyst is just a cyst! Supposedly it is producing no hormones and the cycle is a go. I start stimming tonight!!

So now I feel like quite the drama queen. But truly, gutted is how I felt this morning. As I know many of you can relate,  after all the setbacks and negative sticks, you begin to expect the worst. And honestly, it typically has been. To say I am shocked to be on the other end is an understatement. However, it also makes me aware of what a long, long road it still is, and that many more things may go wrong. But for today, I am grateful we are getting our chance to try. For today, I feel lucky.

9 comments:

  1. I think I have stressed years off my life simply anticipating nurse phone calls from my clinic. So glad yours had good news today!

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    1. Thank you. And yes, I agree. There have been many, many gray hairs added to my head by this process!

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  2. Oh yay! I'm so happy for you - like really, truly happy! Praying that the rest of your cycle goes a little smoother with the best possible outcome.

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    1. Thank you!! Of course, looking back I feel silly for over-reacting, but I think there was so much hope, angst, expectations, etc. stored up, that all of that emotion had to go somewhere. So I agree...smooth sailing would be very appreciated for the rest of this process!

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  3. Don't feel silly! Everything gets so amped up with IF because we have a lot riding on the outcome, so much time invested and a lot of information, all of which makes you hyper aware of every possibility, negative outcome and chance that whatever you're struggling with at the moment is going to become a long-term "thing" or giant issue.

    I would have freaked out to if it's any consolation :-0

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    1. Thank you! I felt very "Chicken Little" afterwards, but even D and my mom were shocked that the cycle was still a go. Hopefully I can proceed through the next few weeks a little more calmly :)

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  4. I totally yelped out when I read what the phone call was actually about. My mind always goes to the worst scenario. No worries...you were not silly at all!! :)

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    1. Thank you! Like I said, after all this time, I think all of us are just primed for the worst.

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  5. I'm gone for a few days and nearly had a heart attack when I read your last post. Now, a wave of relief. Stupid IF roller coaster. I'm so glad that you will be able to move forward though. So, so glad.

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