Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Spilling the beans

Thanks to everyone for your input on how best to sneak the meds past the parents (gosh, I feel like it was not that long ago I would be trying to sneak a 6-pack past them. My how times change...). We ultimately put it in a small, black lunch bag and shoved it in the back of each fridge. We then adopted a "don't ask, don't tell" policy (as in, if they did not ask, we definitely were not telling). In the end, it worked out well and if either parent wondered about the strange bag in the fridge, neither mentioned it.

With victory in our grasp, we did the one thing that surprised me most. We told his parents anyway.

You see, I really took your comments to heart. So many of you mentioned the strength, love and support you got from your families. I already have that because my mom (and that whole side of my family) know. But then I started to wonder, was I denying D that? What he not getting the support he needs? Here his parents were at dinner, giving him a hard time that he was not taking off days for the annual hunting trip, asking, "what could be so important that you have to save your days for?" And he was stammering, and trying to lie, and that is not fair. He deserves to be able to talk about this with someone besides me. I could not get through this without my family; and I want him to have the support of his.

So we told them, and it went amazingly well. They were very supportive (and surprisingly, most proud that I give myself my own shots. I think I earned some street cred). In her excitement, his mother offered to retire and help if we have twins, and move in if we have triplets! They both were very respectful when we told them this was not common knowledge, and after our brief 5 or 10 minute conversation, did not bring it up again.  The best part? D was vague about when were doing the IVF, so there will be no expected phone call or notification immediately afterwards. I think my biggest fear was one more group of people waiting to hear on pins and needles how things went. The way we left it, they won't need to know until we are ready to talk about it.


Now we just have my dad left to tell, and the entire family will be in the loop. It may not be the way I envisioned telling my family about future grandchildren, but then again, nothing in this process has been the way I imagined. And you know what? I will take the extra prayers and support in the meantime.

13 comments:

  1. Yay! I'm so glad things went well with the meds. And it sounds like it was a good decision to tell your hubby's parents about what is happening on the baby front. I'm happy for you that you have their extra prayers and support. :)

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    1. Thank you! Is it wrong that because they are very religious, I feel like their prayers are extra strong?

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  2. yeay! I think that is a great move. It sounds like it happened so organially and easily. I don't think you'll regret it.

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    1. I agree ... Organically is what made it so nice. I also wanted to tell my dad, but it truly never came up. And it seemed really awkward to throw it in after, "so, do you think the Jets will score a touchdown this season?" Oh well, will have to make a heart-to-heart happen soon.

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  3. That sounds like it went so well! Good for you!

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  4. You so get extra street cred! Just a different kind of 'med' than they go for in Compton. :)

    My heart swelled a bit when I read your post. It really sounds like you have the best of both worlds now. And the future announcement may not be how you envisioned it to be, but it will be wonderful in its own right.

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    1. Haha - thanks! I thought it was pretty cool the in-laws thought I was so tough. And I agree. They were so excited to hear we were trying. It was like they did not even focus on the "it's hard" part, just that a baby was coming. So in a way, I already got my surprise announcement.

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  5. I liked what you said here: "It may not be the way I envisioned telling my family about future grandchildren, but then again, nothing in this process has been the way I imagined."

    I've had to come to that realization as well. It sounds like telling your husband's parents was the right decision. You can still come up with a fun way to tell them when you are pregnant!

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    1. Exactly! And there are gender reveals and all sorts of things. I think it will just take some reimagining!

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  6. I am so happy that things went well for you and that his family was so supportive!! I also am still so proud/impressed you are giving yourself your own shots. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm bound and determined to do it on our next IVF.

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    1. You can do it!! So far, it has not been so bad. I think I would be more nervous if the hubs was doing it. But I am dreading the PIO shots since I can't do them myself and even the nurse admitted they hurt!

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  7. That's so great that you've added more supporters to your circle. It's never fun having to sneak around or make excuses for what may look like odd behavior!

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