Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Next Steps

So now that the trigger shot did not work and we are stuck in annovulatory limbo - where do we go next?

This is the question I asked Dr. D on Saturday when he called.

First, he mentioned going on Provera so I get my flow. Since it can give you major PMS symptoms and depression, he suggested I skip taking it through the holidays and take it starting in January. Then I would take it for 10 days and 5 days or so after that, I would get my period. Wait 2 weeks until January? I didn't think so. I was ready to head to Target and get my prescription filled while still on the phone with Dr. D. Being cranky and depressed seemed worth it not to waste two more precious weeks. But, after a bit, I started to think more rationally (read: D, mom and sister talked me off the ledge). I am going to wait until after Xmas to take it so I can be sane for D's family. I will start on the 26th so only D is subject to my depressed, crazed self for New Years (and they say romance is dead).

But after that, then what? According to Dr. D I am at a "fork in the road". My options are:

A. Continue with IUIs. He said you can do up to 4 or 5 before they are deemed not successful. He says technically I have only done 2 since this one did not work (sorry doc, still counting it in the official tally). At this point we would probably do it without the trigger since it flopped last time.

B. IVF or medicated IUI. I want medicated IUI because it seems only one small (okay, multiple- egg-producing) step above what we are already doing. I think it is too soon for IVF. That seems like something that would be after the one year mark to me. For both, we would have to find a trigger shot that works before we attempt it.

C. (I guess it is a 3 pronged fork) Surgery again. Assume the endo has grown back, as he said 2 years ago my pelvis was "full of junk". Remove endo and try naturally again.

I asked Dr. D his recommendation and he said (A) for 1 or 2 more months and then (c).

It seems like such a slow course. I am frustrated because I see myself getting to the 1 year mark without success. I am dreading more IUIs. It just seems more disheartening than trying on our own. I think because I feel like it should work, and feels like a bigger failure when it doesn't. On the flip side though, I am not ready to go more aggressive (except the medicated IUI which my doctor seems the most reluctant to do).

Sigh. I guess there is no answer that sounds good because I want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW. I just keep reminding myself that, like the tortoise learned long ago, slow and steady wins the race.

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