Thursday, December 29, 2011

Why must I pee on dollar bills???

Also known as Ovulation Prediction Kits.

Normally, they serve a very good function. They tell you when you are ovulating, which is critical to planning the baby making (so I am told - I have yet to see it work).

However, I did not ovulate. Now I am on Provera which does not make you ovulate. But, my well-meaning (and has been proven to be wrong through the google-gods) doctor had said that there was a small chance the Provera could kick-start the stalled ovulation. And so I pee on sticks.

And the worst part is, the sticks do keep getting darker. Way darker then they were last week (like I said, I am addicted). So, their darkness keeps convincing me I should break out my pricier, only-to-be-used-for-confirmation digital pee sticks. They are my holy grail of pee sticks. That smiley face is the confirmation and affirmation I need to believe I truly am ovulating, honed from years of wanting stickers and As on papers to prove I was good enough. It is my external validation. And in past months (when I had more sanity left) I was pretty good about using them only in situations where I already knew they would be smileys. But now, my poor, hopeful heart keeps thinking these dark lines (which are not equal to the control like the box tells me they need to be) are dark enough and I keep wasting my lovely digitals.

Grr... I think I need D to stage an intervention and hide all pee sticks from me until sanity (or a normal ovulation pattern) has been regained.

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