Hi, my name is B and I'm addicted to temping.
And like most addicts, I hate that which I am addicted to. To put it bluntly, temping blows.
I started temping at 3 months into trying. D wanted to wait, keep things more "spontaneous" (which really meant I was furitively doing OPKS [my other addiction] in the bathroom and then inexplicably in the mood towards the later half of each month). But at three months, he was actually the one who suggested, well, why don't you try that temping thing?
Why, indeed? Perhaps because it is a soul sucking, day ruining practice? But, of course, I could not know that then. So, full of excitement, I purchased my CVS brand basal thermometer (because I did not want to mess up by using a regular thermometer -- g_d forbid I did not know my temperature down to the hundredths) and began the joys of temping.
And in the beginning, it was not so bad. Sure, my chart looked like a heart beat monitor, full of erratic ups and downs, but that was fine with me. And sure, getting up at the same time in the morning, including my precious weekends, was a pain, but it was part of the baby making territory. And when I saw that huge spike to indicate that I had actually ovulated - I actually was pretty amazed with the coolness that is the female body.
But, what goes up, must come down. And every time that red line on fertility friend went down, so did my spirits. A drop in temperature could literally ruin my day. Not to mention the fact that due to getting a puppy, all attempts at charting at the same time were rendered nearly impossible since puppy wanted to play at 3, 4:30, and 5. Plus, there's the countless hours I spend staring at my chart, trying to discern who-knows-what in a minute-by-minute analysis of data that is completely unchanged any time I look at it. And then, there's the chart gallery, and the pregnancy monitor and all these other bells and whistles which, when it boils down to it, are completely meaningless. I have stared at enough pregnancy charts to know - there is no sign. There is no sure thing. Like a football fan watching a field goal kicker shank that winning field goal, I will look at some charts and go, "Ooooh, that looked so good. I can't believe it didn't come up positive!"
On the bright side though, in a way, it's nice to finally have a hobby.
I was just as addicted. Running to FF to chart my latest temp was the highlight of day sometimes. I remembering mentioning a temp shift to my RE once, and she promptly told me to toss the BBT. I looked at her in horror and told her she'd have to pry that thermometer out of my cold dead hands. She laughed, I glared. But about 9 months in, it became too much and I... put it down. For good. And I can't tell you what a relief it's been.
ReplyDeleteJust saying. Only when you are ready. :)
Sigh, I want to be that strong. I took a month off of temping (kinda) but that is when I noticed the trigger did not work. And if I had not noticed through temping, my RE never would have tested my progesterone and saw that I didn't. So now I feel like I HAVE to temp (at least this cycle). But isn't that what every addict says? "Just this month [drink, cigarette, insert vice here] and then I am quitting." Oh well, hopefully soon!
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