Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Kicking it Old School

CD12 / 1DP(suspected)O

Yesterday should have been my (extremely early) iui. However, we also had a death in the family, with the funeral scheduled for this week on Thursday. So, I would have to miss work Tuesday morning and Thursday. Not normally a huge deal, but this is also my LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL. I am actually missing the very last day for the funeral. So the thought of missing a morning session as well this week left me feeling all itchy and uncomfortable. With my mental health in mind, I canceled the iui.

Now, lest you think I am anything less than serious about getting this baby, I would never have canceled if we had a decent egg size. If I even had a 16, I would give it a go. However, seeing that my best shot is a 14 (well, two of them), I figured it was not worth the added stress I would feel taking off for something that doesn't have a very good chance of working. It was a very hard decision, and one I angsted endlessly about to anyone who would listen. But ultimately, I felt it was the best decision for me.

Since the iui was off the table, I did ask the dr. if I could wait a day or two to trigger, no meds, but she said, "I feel extremely uncomfortable with that" so being the law doctor abiding do-gooder that I am, we triggered on Sunday as prescribed. And we have just been bd-ing instead.
Of course, I vacillated on my decision endlessly after I made it. But the truth is, now that i've committed, there's something kind of nice about possibly making this baby just through sex. Imagine? A baby that comes about naturally*? That is something I haven't even fathomed as a possibility in over half a year. Basically once we started the iuis, in my head making a baby became a 3 (or more) person affair. Sure we still had sex during the fertile window, but it was more as a buffer around the iui than in any hopes of creating a baby. So this, by contrast, feels both intimate and exciting. It reminds me of when we were first trying. When each time was buoyed with the hope that we had just produced a little us. In my logical, non-sepia toned moments, I do realize that this method has about a snowball's chance in July of working, and I will of course be right back on the iui bandwagon as soon as next month rolls around ~ anything that ups our odds. But for today, I am enjoying pretending we are fertile, and engaging in some old fashioned baby making.

* And by naturally, I of course mean using follistim, royal jelly, zinc, baby asprin, a trigger shot, and probably progesterone suppositories. You know, just the way nature intended.


  1. I always try to remember my conversations with my RE while I'm having the IUI so I can have a "when you were conceived story"- if it ever worked. Too bad my husband is no where to be seen in this whole process.

    When and how much baby asprin do you take? It's something I've been thinking of adding but unsure. Does your RE recommend it?

    1. My RE has never recommended the baby aspirin to me, but other people I know who go to my clinic are prescribed it (and actually, one of them just got a BFP this week). Interestingly, when I asked the nurse if I could take it, she rolled her eyes at me and said it does not really do anything (so why they prescribe it to others, I don't know). Anyhow, I just started taking 80mg of the baby aspirin this cycle. But I am hopeful it will do something. At this point, I am trying everything I can think of!