Thursday, June 7, 2012

On Support

Cycle 14 / CD 6

I am not normally a hugger. I am one of those awkward people that makes a hug look like a wrestling match, and is better at punching in affection rather than hugging. In fact, too much emotion makes me feel weird and I never quite know how to handle it. However, a friend did something so thoughtful, and so sweet today that I broke out of my shell and gave her a spontaneous, genuine hug.

My friend D (apparently, I know WAY too many people who start with that initial. It must be a Jersey thing.) has been struggling to get pregnant with her second (after her 1st took a year). She has had two chemical pregnancies in the last 6 months. She and I currently go out to coffee every Tuesday, and while we obstensibly discuss all topics, really, we mainly focus on fertility.

So today, she came into work telling me she had a gift for me. And I opened the following:

The card says: "I'm so happy we have each other to complain to! And to celebrate good stuff too. Best of luck to you this cycle - I picked up a few tihngs to get you through the month. The theme is before, during and after. See if you can guess which thing goes with which."

The items included were a bottle of wine, a set of socks, and an envelope of pregnancy tests.

And I was touched to my very core. 

Having met people who have already gone through this journey might be one of the luckiest things that has happened to me in this whole process. I don't know how I would get by without their support, encouragement and unconditional interest in boring things like my follicle size. Not that I would ever wish anyone to suffer, but it is through this support network of other people who get it, who know that it is not about relaxing, or a bigger plan, or taking time off and seeing what happens, but about the struggle we go through daily to do what we can to wrestle some amount of control over this awful, scary process. To have someone who knows what it is like to wake up throughout the night eager to temp, or who will send you pictures of things they peed on without shame - this sisterhood is how I have found this wait (marginally) bareable.
And so I thank this sisterhood, the one I know in real life, and those I have met only online, for supporting me through this. Hopefully we all reach the finish line soon.

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