Saturday, May 5, 2012


CD 6

No - not me. My progesterone. It bombed yesterday's test. So last night, I started the Crinone.

I know this does not mean it can't be a successful cycle, and I am lucky that they test for it early so I can go on meds right away, but I'm starting to lose some of my optimism for this cycle.

No, that's a lie. To lose some, I would have had to have some to start with. And I have been a grade A Debbie Downer lately.

I hope, like Tami says, that this bleak hormonal time can be blamed on the hormones coursing through me. I'm not usually prone to crying, but I have had some doozies lately. D is treating me with kid gloves. In fact, due to yesterday's crying jag about being fat-out-of-shape-none-of-my-clothes-fit-I'm-going-to-be-late-to-work-oh-yeah-and-I-am-infertile, he has offered to go to the mall with me today. This from the man who thinks he can buy his work wardrobe at DICKs sporting goods and doesn't understand why I can't do the same.

Geez, he must be scared...


  1. Glad they caught your progesterone drop. Have you ever used Crinone before? Watch out if you haven't- that's some messy business right there. (which becomes routine just like the rest of this stuff but it's still totally nasty).

    A few months ago, a friend (that went through 7 failed IVF cycles and still doesn't have a child) said something that really stuck with me. I was saying something about having no hope anymore and she said to me, "If you had no hope, you wouldn't keep trying so hard". That really made sense to me and every time I try playing the no-hope-card (which is easy to do with the help of all these stupid meds), I think about those words. Maybe it's less hope, or just a tiny bit of hope- but the hope is always there.

    1. I have never used the Crinone before. I was going to say it was not so bad... but today I think it caught up with me! TTC just gets lovelier and lovelier :)

      You're absolutely right - the hope is always there. If it wasn't I would be able to "stop" or "take a break" so I could *cringe* relax, but I can't do it. I want my chance each month to make this baby.

      My heart goes out to your friend.